Chapter2: “Moon under her feet”

The thing’s mouth unhinged and an airy rasp came out in place of a groan. OK. Not the time to panic. I pulled out my wand and blasted it with some Lacarnum Inflamarae.

Damn it! Still a muggle.

With the bitterness of old wizarding dreams crushed long ago, I sprinted across the room as the thing got its head through the window. I gave it a shove and felt my hands pass right through it. Its decayed flesh crumbled between my fingers like dry sand.

I couldn’t stop. My body kept going forward as if I had passed through little more than a cloud of thick musk. The momentum carried me over the ledge and out into the biting winds.

CRAP, CRAP, CRAP, CRAP!!!

Cold air whipped my face for a split second. This might be a good time to mention that my room is on the second (and three quarters) story.

The thing’s snarling was quickly replaced with the crunch of my ribs splintering. The thing about Newfoundland’s winter nights is that the fluffy white powder we all know and love freezes over pretty hard. But hey. Instant ice pack, right?

My lungs were emptied along with a good deal of my bladder. I took half a breath in and felt my limbs go numb and my chest explode with burning pain. My blood pumped faster and harder against my battered insides, forcing me to let out the little air I was able to take in.

The thing had disintegrated underneath me, and the dust from its remains filled my throat. The particles hovered around me, eager to replace the dust that I managed to feebly cough out. The ringing in my ears was fading now, and I was able to pick out some faint moaning. I shifted my weight to the left where I felt like there were fewer broken ribs. Sheer horror washed over me as I rolled onto my back. There were more. More of the things. Zombies. Walkers. The undead. Whatever you want to call them.

I screamed for help. Loud. I don’t know what nonsense people tell you about being so scared they can’t make a sound, but through the splitting pain and all, I yelled with everything I had.

It felt like the desolate town absorbed the sound of my desperate cries and ravenously devoured every thud from their approaching footsteps. Not an echo. A blanket of silence had fallen over, muffling, suffocating me.

I had never felt so alone, so helpless. The cricket chirps ceased. The snow felt warm between my bare toes. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. With every exhalation I could feel the life leaving my body. I was trapped.

As my vision faded in and out I saw the corpses become corpses again. Their limp bodies fell to the ground. All but one. A girl. She wasn’t the same decayed earthy brown. Her pale skin made her look dead but in such a different way. A beautiful way.

The pain in my chest melted away as I stared into her blue eyes and my breathing steadied to the rhythm of her gentle footsteps. These weren’t generic blue eyes. They were that exact shade the dawn sky gets right before the sun breaks its horizon. Soft and tranquil, but tinged with a fierce purple-red.

I closed my eyes and let the darkness envelop me.

“It’s okay. I’m here now.”

chapter2

I’m terribly sorry for the wait guys. I’ll be sure to get these next chapters out faster, but out of everything on this blog, I want to maintain the quality of the novel itself.

As a novice writer, I’d appreciate any and all feedback (positive and negative) from you guys. I really hope you enjoy reading this chapter!

If you haven’t read the previous chapter yet, click here.

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3 thoughts on “Chapter2: “Moon under her feet”

  1. I’m liking the story! It has a pretty interesting plot so far, just enough information to leave us begging for the next chapter! The biggest problem I have with your story right now,though, is your writing. It’s important to keep the same tense throughout your writing. You seem to be focused on the past tense, so to go from, “The thing’s snarling WAS quickly replaced…”, to “The thing about Newfoundland’s winter nights IS that the fluffy white powder…” makes your writing seem disconnected. Once you fix your tenses, I believe that your writing will be much smoother. Keep working on your flow, making events and thoughts connect, and keep up the good work! 🙂

    P.S. I love the picture with the chapter name! Did you make it yourself, and with what program?

    • I may be wrong here but since that statement about Newfoundland is always true rather than just a singular event wouldn’t it be correct to use present tense? As for the picture, I just used gimp, a font called moonshiner, and used some grain merge and lowered opacity.

      • That sort of makes sense to use present tense, but it still feels choppy and not smooth. Of course, that was just one example I found, there may be others where that is not the case. I like the short witty remarks that the character makes, but sometimes they can also force you to change your tense, which can interrupt the flow of the story. Developing a good feel for the flow of a story comes with experience, so keep experimenting with the location of phrases. Sometimes, a thought might not work at one place, but would fit perfectly in another!

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